Was Chicken Little Correct?

Have you ever wondered if Chicken Little knew something about this world, but didn't get the message to you?

You know Chicken Little ... the itty-bitty bird with the big mouth which ran around screaming "The Sky Is Falling .. The Sky Is Falling." Just think about the past couple of weeks ... 

There was this really nasty guy named Gustav that came lumbering through the Gulf Coast of Mississippi and Louisiana, including Baton Rouge. He was an ugly so-and-so who flooded streets, downed trees, ripped off roofs and was like a boil on the butt of humanity.

Did I feel something on my head?

His evil cousin, Ike, decided not to be outdone by pounding the Texas Gulf Coast, Houston, and West Louisiana. This less-than-friendly chump drowned Galveston, knocked out electricity to roughly 5-million people, and kicked the "you-know-what" out of the region and its residents.

I think I really did feel something on my head. Didn't you?

And those genius weather folks at the National Hurricane Center say they expect no tropical formation within the next 48-hours. What is that? Are we supposed to take solace in that forecast? It's like "you're safe for 48 hours, but we'll have something new with which to scare you in only 49-hours."

On top of that, just when it seemed like gas prices might be getting away from the mode of "I have to sell a pint of blood to fill the tank," the price goes up 30¢ a gallon. I can't help but wonder how college students put gas in their cars, when they can't rummage for change under the sofa cushions.

I didn't see it fall, but I heard something. You did, too, right?

Then Wall Street takes a jump off the side of Mt. Everest, wrecking a ton of 401-k Plans and annuity polices, not to mention stock portfolios. And the government gives an $85-billion bailout to AIG. Don't you wish you could get a bailout from some of your bills and pitfalls? 

The only bailout I could get would be to jump out of an airplane, but since I can't even afford a plane ticket right now, that would be a tough task. And if I could get a ticket, there would be no leftover money for the parachute ... that might actually please some people. Then there are others who would offer me a broom for flying out of the plane. If that would work, I'd cast a spell of equal proportion on those who offered the broom!    

Surely you saw that piece of something bounce off my head.

If that's not enough, consider this ... the cost of anti-aging-anti-wrinkle-anti-ugly cream has gone up, along with my "natural in a bottle" golden brown hair enhancer, and the cost of my prescription hormone replacement medication.

And if the price of my Prozac and Myers Dark Rum go up ... that blasted, pygmy, Chicken Little can count on me pulling the sky down on his head right before I personally pluck each of his tiny feathers and kick him all the way back to the hen house.

Take that you raunchy little bird. That will teach you to keep messages from me!

" ... and the buzzards keep circling!"